May 5, 2008

The Sound of My Music.

There are people who love music but the attraction is not mutual. I am one of those. Music does not like me. :(

When I was little, our Saturday afternoons were spent at Mrs Sarchez' house for piano lessons. I really enjoyed those lessons. I was so proud when I was able to play 'Air' by Mozart. Not good, but the notes were there and well, it remotely sounded like the real thing.

I taught myself to play the guitar. One of my friends lent me a self-help book and the first song I learned as 'Diana' by Paul Anka. There were many times when I got carried away and sang my heart out in my room. Then I'd hear my brother snicker from outside. He tried to be nice telling me that I was off-key a little and that the guitar wasn't tuned!. Just a little bit, he said, but you're doing good.

My mom, who has perfect pitch and plays the guitar really well, explained that my brother was being very kind to me. In a matter-of-fact way, she told me that I wasn't very good. But if I work really hard at it.... My problem was that I WAS working really really hard at it. I got really frustrated. Everyone in my family can sing very well or play a musical instrument well. Except me. :(

Later in life, I decided to enroll in voice lessons. Coach Chardie from the Center for Pop Music was really cool. He was so nice. For a while, I thought I was doing good. Until I heard a recording of me singing. Oh boy. Simon Cowell would have a field day.

I thought I'd have a good chance of being a decent musician. People say it runs in the blood. Well, my musical bloodline is pretty darn good! Why should I be the anomaly? I feel like the ugly child in a family of beautiful people!

So my guitar lies in the corner of my closet and my piano has long gone to its new owners - my younger cousins. I am starting to accept that my relationship with music isn't going to be what I want it to be. I can not be a maker of music. Just a listener. But hey, there's always the shower...

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