Fortune Cookies

My fortune cookie read:
You will be successful in everything you do.

Darren: IN BED!

It turns out, most fortune cookie fortunes would sound really funny if you added 'in bed' to the end:

Do not be overly judgmental of your loved one's intentions or actions... in bed.
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.... in bed.
A loved one is of utmost importance at this time.... in bed.
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life..... in bed.
You find beauty in ordinary things. Keep this trait.... in bed.
An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.... in bed.
You are filled with life's most precious treasure... Hope!... in bed.

And then there are fortunes that don't sound so good. especially in bed!
from Bad Cookie:

You have no outstanding traits... in bed.
Failure surely comes your way... in bed.
You are very negative in words, acts and feelings... in bed.
The star of poverty is shining on you... in bed.
A friend is a present you can buy yourself.... in bed.